Conquer from within.
I wonder how many times you have told yourself one or more of the following at some time in your life:
- I can’t do that
- I’ll never be able to do that
- I’m not a good at ‘X’ as ‘person Y’ is
- I’m ugly
- No one likes me
- I’m boring
- I’m so stressed
- I can’t handle this
I’m guessing that, unless you’re some kind of super-human, you have told yourself one or more of the things on the above list. And that you still do, perhaps multiple times a day.
I often like to reinforce that whilst I love writing these posts, there isn’t some enlightened sparkly being who constantly breathes positivity sat behind the computer screen- just a very normal 20-something, who struggles just as much with the topics these posts address as you do. And, yes, I sometimes tell myself the above several times a day as well. However, I also know and accept that the place to begin changing these thoughts is from inside your head.
This seems incredibly obvious. But let’s take a look at no.5 on the list: ‘no one likes me’. How many times, in social situations where you feel out of place or unwanted, have you attempted to change? Come up with a master plan to re-haul your wardrobe, get a hair cut, start acting differently maybe? The real issue is that perhaps you don’t really like the people you’re around. When you accept that, you can move away to find a circle of better people, and be confident in the knowledge that there is nothing wrong with you (unless you truly are a very unlikable person, and know that you sometimes treat people badly that is. I won’t sugar coat the fact that if people constantly avoid you, then you may need to re-evaluate your own attitude…).
If some one wanted to begin a company, but told themselves they didn’t have the talent, then there goes their biggest dream in less than five minutes.
On an even more serious level: if someone suffering from an eating disorder saw a dietician, yet never tackled their innermost thoughts, then relapse would probably be more likely to occur at some point. The thoughts that caused the disordered behaviour are still there, so the outward behaviour is likely to eventually gravitate towards acting on them.
Conquering your own self-doubt and negative thoughts is incredibly difficult, especially living in a society where it’s actually frowned upon sometimes to show that you believe in yourself, and aren’t going in for self-deprecation. Sometimes it can be mislabelled as narcissism, bossiness, or arrogance to show that you’re actually quite confident in your own abilities. Thing is, sometimes society is wrong. And it’s you that has to live in your head, and no one else. Meaning, it is you who has the potential to change how you see yourself and the rest of the world.