‘It doesn’t matter what everyone else is doing. What matters is what you are doing.’
This week I’ve chosen a quote that is something I know I desperately need to learn. I know that sat on the other side of the screen, in your bedroom, office, or looking at your phone, it can be hard to visualise an actual person writing this. Well, let me tell you something about that person: she is a secret comparer.
Yep, that’s right guys: I compare myself to others nearly constantly. You would probably never guess, as I tend to pretty much do what I want despite this. I have a stubborn streak that isn’t going away any time soon. But in a little corner of my head there is usually a continuous little comparison party going on: how much work I’ve managed to get done, the fact I don’t currently have a job when both my parents were working from aged 16, that I can’t lift as much as some girls in the pump and tone class I go to, that my skin isn’t as clear as theirs, my sense of style not as good…and I have to, not so much every day but every hour, remind myself that I need to just focus on doing me. An example of someone who does the right thing where comparison is concerned? I have a friend who decided not to go to uni, and instead to go to Thailand this June to look after elephants. She’ll be living out there for 6 months, and it’s pretty much her dream come true. However, if she had listened to numerous other people, compared the fact we were at uni and she was waitressing to save up for this- she may never have done it.
I feel as if comparison comes in part from some sort of intense kind of drive. Its probably the same drive that way back in the stone age mean that by being better than Edna from the cave down the road, meant that I got to survive that little bit longer. It also comes from some kind of desire for perfection- y’know, that thing which we should (if you read this blog) know is a societal construct by now. But regardless, we keep going after.
Whatever someone else is doing, I feel I need to go one step further. And in some ways this is a good thing, and in some ways its and exhausting, and pointless thing. This week I want to challenge you, and myself, to just do you. If unlike your flatmate you love early morning, but hate late nights, then accept that. As long as its something you’re okay with, keep doing it. Be inspired by others, but don’t compare yourself to them. You will never be them, and they will never be you.