‘The woman who does not require validation is the most feared individual on the planet’
Happy Monday once again everyone- Monday meaning it is time to put an inspirational quote out into the world of blogger for you to mull over.
This week we are talking validation. Validation meaning someone backing up what you believe, seconding this so that you can then be assured that it is either true/false. For example: “Does my butt look big in this?” “Yes. Yes it does/No. No it doesn’t. “.
What kinds of validation do we feel we need? At varying times in my life I have felt the need for all of the below to be validated:
If I look okay in the outfit I have chosen
If I should go to a certain event
If I should choose a certain uni module
If I look alright
If I should apply for a certain job/placement
If I was intelligent enough to go to uni
If I need X/Y/Z
If what I’m feeling is correct (e.g. ‘is it wrong I’m so angry about that?’)
The list goes on and on.
Seeking validation can be a little bit like seeking a pat on the back. It’s like seeking permission for something, seeking assurance that you are doing to right thing. And for me, seeking validation has in the past come from a place of insecurity. I’m not saying that you should never seek advice, or listen to useful advice when it comes your way. Far from that. But there’s a time and place for everything.
As I’ve grown older I have started seeking validation less and less. It is rare that I will run an email or text past someone else before I send it. It is almost as rare that I will run an outfit choice past someone once I’ve decided what I want to wear. Choosing uni modules and uni related things are something I almost never seek validation for, because I know better than anyone else what I want to study. How I feel, is how I feel. Validation is not required for that.
I do still seek validation for some things, almost unconsciously sometimes. It is my goal since seeing this quote to one day to be the kind of woman who seeks no validation from anyone, but is completely (or nearly as completely as possible) self-assured. And I’m getting there.
Take a few minutes to think about the things you seek validation for- how could you stop seeking validation for them? What would life be life if you did stop? Here’s a couple of examples: Unsure if you’re intelligent enough or good enough to apply for a job or uni placement? Think about if you really want it. If you do, go for it. No one else will be able to tell you if it is the right decision, because no one can tell if it will work out. Next time you are getting ready to go out, if you’re the kind of person you asks six times if your outfit is okay, take a look in the mirror and decide for yourself. You don’t need to seek validation if you know you look stunning…